Author: Ari Blum

I don’t know about you, but when I message someone on WhatsApp, the easiest part of waiting for a response is to see the words ‘X is typing…’. At the top of the screen. That tells me that my friend has not only seen my message, but they are actively in the process of responding. Even before that response is received, I feel relieved just knowing that it’s coming.

This week’s parsha shows that G-D does the same thing.

‘ראה אנוכי נותן לפניכם היום ברכה וקללה’

‘See, I present you today with a blessing and a curse’
(Devarim/Deuteronomy 11:26)

The Vilna Gaon wondered why the Torah uses the words ‘blessing’ and ‘curse’. If we’re rewarded for making good choices, why not use the words good and bad? Choose to do good and good things happen. Choose to do bad, bad things happen!

But in truth, the Gaon says, it’s not as simple as that. After all, as we see in the Torah and throughout history, tzaddik vera lo, rasha vetov lo. The best people often suffer terribly, while the worst of mankind seemingly enjoy the best things in life.
The Gaon explains: G-D doesn’t promise good things. He promises blessings.

Blessings develop over time, and sometimes require bad things to happen in the process. Very often, what seems to be bad on the surface proves, in the long run, to open up better opportunities. That job offer that didn’t happen, only to be followed by a better opportunity which DID work out. That house purchase that fell through, which was followed by an even better offer.

Perhaps we won’t see the end results in our lifetime. But when we get upstairs and are shown the bigger picture, we’ll see just how the blessings of our lives developed.

Through this verse, Hashem is essentially sending us an opportunity for blessing. Once we reply ‘yes’, he begins typing His response. That process may take a while. It may even include sending us a challenge or two (or three, or four…). But we know that these will ultimately help make up the custom-made blessing that He is ‘typing ‘ for us.

What’s the best attitude to take when approaching something new?

At the beginning of this week’s parsha, The Torah speaks about the Jewish people’s eventual conquest of Eretz Yisrael. Moshe gives them a ‘pep talk’:

‘Perhaps you will say in your heart – כי תאומר בלבבך

‘These nations are greater than me – רבים הגוים האלה ממני 

 How will I conquer them?’ – איכה אוכל להורישם 

 Do not be afraid of them’ -לא תירא מהם

(Devarim 6: 17-18)

Notice that I translated כי as ‘perhaps’. That wasn’t by accident-I was following the interpretation of the commentator Rashi. The way Rashi sees it, Moshe is encouraging the Jewish people, telling us not to feel intimidated by the enemy’s might. G-D is on our side, and He will lead us to victory.

But another commentator, the Shela, understands the verse differently, translating the word ki with its more common meaning- ‘if’. The verse, he explains, shows us how we should approach any battle, even when the odds are seemingly stacked in our favour.

כי תאומר בלבבך If you would say in your heart

רבים הגוים האלה ממני – We may appear to be better armed, with better-trained soldiers. But without Divine assistance, all these ‘advantages’ are useless.

איכה אוכל להורישם- How can we possibly be victorious without Hashem’s input?

True strength lies in realising the ultimate source of everything we have. Yes, we need to do our hishtadlus. We must put the necessary effort into our careers, relationships, and anything else worthwhile. That is what Hashem expects of us. But He also wants us to remember who it is who’s really making everything happen. Who’s putting the right people in the right places at the right time. Who sends us the ideas we have.

If we go into a battle, a business meeting or a date with our hearts turned Upwards, we can feel truly confident, knowing that Hashem, the Master of the world, has our back.

Sometimes we come up against the opinions of others about ourselves. “you’re a lazy so and so”, “You won’t accomplish anything”. We take the words to heart, and they become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The first people on record to address that mistake were the spies. In their damning report of their expedition to Israel they recounted:
וַנְּהִי בְעֵינֵינוּ כַּחֲגָבִים וְכֵן הָיִינוּ בְּעֵינֵיהֶם (במדבר פרק י”ג פס’ ל”ג):
“And we were, in our eyes, like grasshoppers. And so we were in their eyes [like grasshoppers] (Bamidbar 13:33)

Rashi tells us that the spies had heard the giants talking among themselves about grasshoppers who looked like men, which they understood to be a reference to them.
Noted educator Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstien observes (in a shiur that can be accessed at https://www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=19099) that the spies said ‘we felt like grasshoppers in our eyes, and therefore we were grasshoppers in their eyes’. In other words, they were admitting that it was their perception of themselves that affected the way the giants viewed them, and not the other way around.
As I’ve heard from one veteran teacher, the best way for a parent to help a child being bullied (in addition to telling him/her to tell his teacher and ensuring that the bully is dealt with appropriately) is to empower the child to choose what he/she thinks of himself/herself, rather than relying on the views of the bully. This equips him/her with a reservoir of resilience that he/she can draw on later in life.
We could extend the lesson taught by the spies to the way we view our life circumstances in general. Victor Frankl was a Jewish Psychiatrist who spent much of World War 2 as a prisoner of Auschwitz. He observed that those who survived the longest were the ones who lived for others, the ones who gave up their bread, the ones who supported the sick people on the death marches. Frankl summed up his conclusions in his famous book, Man’s search for Meaning:
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
We are not affected by our circumstances and other’s views of us. We affect our circumstances and other’s views of us.

This week, the Torah teaches us the laws of observing the Shabbos. The 39 types of labour that were done to construct and de-construct the tabernacle are the basis of the various prohibitions of Shabbos.

The Talmud in Tractate Shabbos (31b) has an interesting question. Among the prohibitions of Shabbos is the forbidden act of destroying something. We are taught that this does not apply if one intended to rebuild it again. But what if the destroyer planned to reconstruct what he’d taken down on a different spot? Would that be allowed?

The Talmud suggests that it should be permitted, since the Tabernacle was portable, and moved from place to place along with the people. But then it reconsiders, stating that the verse in the Torah said: ‘By the Word of Hashem they camped, and by the Word of Hashem they travelled”. The fact that G-D told them when to set up shop and when to move on meant that their dismantling of the tabernacle isn’t considered as such.

It begs explanation. The priests did have to dismantle and reassemble the building. What difference does it make as to Who told them to do it?

There are several answers. But perhaps the most inspirational one comes from the Maharal, who gives the following parable:

A mother takes a baby out to an appointment she has in another part of town. Holding her child in her arms, she walks to the station and takes the tube (a subway train in London) to another station, from where she takes another tube journey on another line. The final leg of the trip is a bus ride. They had to physically go from one place to another, passing through many different neighbourhoods en route, changing surroundings numerous times.

That’s not quite accurate. As the Maharal points out, the only one who had to walk from place to place was the mother. The child never moved anywhere. He stayed in the same spot all afternoon: in his mother’s arms.

‘By the Word of Hashem they camped, by the Word of Hashem they travelled’. G-D was the One guiding us in the desert, picking us up and carrying us from place to place.

This idea brought to mind an observation from the writings of renowned Jewish Chassidic psychiatrist and scholar Rabbi Dr Abraham J. Twerski.

Rabbi Twerski once observed a child at a doctor’s surgery. The toddler was left to play with some toys while the mother waited for their appointment. He was old enough to recognise the man in the white coat who suddenly disturbed his playing. Knowing what this man planned to do to him, the child began to scream in protest. Rabbi Twerski followed the child, who was escorted by his mother and the doctor to a separate room. Rabbi Twerski watched as the child was placed on the table, and kicking and screaming in terror as the feared doctor plunged the sharp needle into his skin. Meanwhile, the mother not only failed to defend the child but actively assisted the ‘tormentor’ by holding him down!

And yet, Rabbi Twerski observed, when the child cried after his traumatic experience, he turned to his mother, the accomplice in the doctor’s actions, for a hug!

The child didn’t want to be subjected to that painful experience. But subconsciously, he knew that if his mother, the human he loved the most, was behind this, it will ultimately benefit him somehow.

Whatever happens to us in life, we know that it is our Father, Hashem, Who is behind it. Even if we’re consciously hurt, we know on a deeper level that He sees far more than we do, and does everything for our good. We don’t go anywhere. Hashem does the walking. We, his children, just sit in His arms and trust our Father’s judgement.

(with thanks to my brother in law Rabbi Eli Rowe for the idea)

 

 

 

Parshas Nasso discusses a difficult situation: a wife who is suspected of cheating her husband. She is put through the rather humiliating experience of having to strip naked and drink the ‘Sotah’ waters, special water containing the full name of G-D (which is a lesson in and of itself, as it goes to show just how much holiness there is in a good marriage). If she is guilty, she simply explodes. If she is found to be innocent, she is promised to have beautiful children.

Even if the woman is found to be innocent, she will find the experience to be rather humiliating. Couldn’t the Torah have found a more dignified way to judge her?

The answer is a lesson in Hashem’s belief in us.

Any woman could avoid that situation by ‘owning up’, even if she never sinned. She could have solved the problem more respectably by other means. The fact that she agreed to undergo such humiliation bears testimony to her willingness to be raw and truthful for the sake of her marriage. And G-D knows that he is able to expect that of his Jewish daughters.

It shows the confidence that Hashem has in His People. He knows that Jews have the strength to go through any difficult situation to serve Him.

G-D has rules. But those rules are meant not to punish us, but to strengthen us. He sets the bar high. But never high enough that we can’t jump over it, albeit with some difficulty.

I have in my inbox a ‘letter’ penned by none other than the Yetzer Hara (evil inclination) that expresses this point

(If anyone knows the identity of the real author, please let me know. I, for one, owe him a debt of gratitude!):

 

To my star pupil,

I am writing this letter to let you know what I think of you. Up here in Heaven, things are not like they are down on Earth. Over there, people only know what they can see. If they see a person is “successful”, they think that he is the greatest guy. When they see somebody struggling, they think he might be one of the weaker elements.

Let me tell you something. Hashem gives every person certain abilities that nobody knows about down where you live. Some people are capable of tremendous things, while others were put there for much smaller purposes. Only Hashem in His infinite wisdom is able to give every person exactly what he needs, to reach his potential.

I am very misunderstood. Most people hate me, and I don’t really blame them. Most people think that my job is to make sure that they fail in all aspects of Mitzvos, and that I rejoice every time they sin. This is the furthest thing from the truth. Did you ever watch a boxing coach train his student? It is really a funny sight. The coach will put on gloves, and fight against his student. At first, he won’t hit him so hard or throw his best punches. But, as the student gets better and better, the coach will start to fight him harder and harder. He does this so that the student will improve his skills and become the best boxer he can be.

This is where it gets strange. Every time the coach knocks down the student, the student gets yelled at!! But finally, when the coach threw everything he has at his student, and not only does he withstand the beating, but he knocks the coach down, there is nobody in the world happier than the coach himself! This is exactly how I feel. If you fail right away, and don’t even try to fight back, I see that there is not much talent to work with, and so I take it easy on you. But if you get back up swinging, I realise that I may have a real winner here, and so I start to intensify the beating. With every level that you go up, I increase the intensity of the fight. If you finally deal me a blow that knocks me out, I will get up and embrace you and rejoice in your success.

Sometimes my job is very disappointing I see a person with lots of potential, and I start right in on him. He fights back for a while, but when the fight gets too tough, he quits and just remains on whatever level he was on. (And he usually ends up going down!) I feel like yelling at him, “Get up you fool! Do you have any idea how much more you could be accomplishing?!” But I am not allowed to do so. I just leave him alone and go try to find another promising candidate.   If I have chosen you to be the target of my more fierce battles, it was not for no reason! You have tremendous abilities! You were born into a very special family, you have Rabbeim (teachers) who really care about you, and parents who would help you grow in Torah and Mitzvos. You are a very respectful and kind person.

I am writing to you now because I have a very serious request to ask of you. Please don’t stop fighting! Don’t give up! I have been beating too many people lately, and I am losing patience, Believe in yourself, because I would not be involved with you as much as I am if I didn’t think you could beat me. Know what your strengths are! A great Rabbi once said: “Woe is to he who doesn’t know his weaknesses. But, ‘Oy Vavoy’ to him who doesn’t know his strengths – for he will not have anything with which to fight.”

Always remember one thing: you have a secret weapon at your disposal. I shouldn’t really be telling you – but I will anyway. Hashem himself is watching our “training” sessions very closely. I’m pleased to inform you that He’s rooting for you! If things should ever get tough, almost too tough to bear, just call out to Him with a prayer, and He will immediately come to your aid. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope that after 120 years when your time is up in that world of falsehood, you will come up here to the world of truth. There I will be waiting for you with open arms to congratulate you on your victory and personally escort you to your place next to the Kisey HaKavod (throne of glory).

Sincerely, and with great admiration, I remain,

Your Yetzer Hara

My sincere apologies to my readers this week.

I did hear an idea today and wrote it up, only to discover that it pertained to Parshas Nasso, to be read in 7 weeks time!

Look out for next week’s post. Hopefully I’ll be organised enough to have it before Friday (yeah, right!)

Good Shabbos/Shabbat Shalom.